Saturday, July 22, 2006

If I Had A Boat...
















If I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean.

And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat.

But if I had a BIG FAT LEAR JET,
I wouldn't need a Pony or a Boat.


OK - no, this post was not meant to be a paean to materialism. I just like this picture for the composition and the nostalgia value. The ditty came along cause my mind is frequently out to lunch.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Situation Normal - ALL FUCKED UP!!!

So here we go again...the city's exploding...again. All I can think of to say is, FUCKERS, You're killing the wrong people!!! If you are going to systematically target groups of people for random extermination in the name of terrorism, can you at least be fair about it and allow the common people to send up viable candidates...people we'd actually like to see killed.

I mean that's win-win. You get cannon fodder and an upgrade in your international terrorist profile, we get rid of people that make our time on earth particularly unpleasant.

Par example, I'd like to nominate, as my first candidates, the people that promised but never quite managed to bring to book the people responsible for the first serial bombings in '93.

Next, I'd like to nominate the politicians that went around hugging the widows and holding the babies of victims and vowing never to forget the carnage...at least not until 7 p.m. that evening when it was time for drinks at the club.

Finally, I'd like to nominate the idiot who, come tomorrow, will shake his head with practised bemusement, marvelling at the Takes-a-Lickin-Keeps-on-Tickin 'spirit' of Bombay and will then, with ill-concealed smugness, actually applaud the dysfunction and apathy...wait hold on, I think I'd like him to go first.

BTW, this just occured to me...they'll be calling this one 7/11, won't they? Perfect! The Americans have a terror incident, the date is numeric code for 'emergency'. The Indians have a terror incident, the date is numeric code for 'convenience store'...go figure!

Annihilate

My teeth hurt. My head is a vice. Every word I've ever choked down imploding me from inside. My arms hurt. My bones are diamond. ...