Tuesday, August 16, 2005
soy un perdidor
Currently, Beck Hansen is God...ok so i took my time discovering the dysfunction, but hey, discover it i did!! The prince of post modern punk, the lord of lo-fi,the king of hill-billy hip-hop swing; call him what you will, the dude can get it on!! And in case you think the boy's just about gibberish lyric pelted thru a prefab drum machine beat laid under a twisted harmonica, i have two words for you...'Sea Change'
Friday, May 06, 2005
Reader's Digest is evil..
TGIF!!!(I'm always tempted to say gesundhiet whenever someone says that, don't know why.)
Anyway...iiit's Friiiiday!!! And Halleluia, I have managed after many a moon to finish up the work week on a friday. Yay! long weekend!! I know I'll regret it cause I'll have to find twice as many things to do to fill it up and give it some semblance of debauchery! Will probably just end up comatose on the couch trying to exorcise this kink that's gathering like a voodoo cloud in my spine, just beneath my shoulder blades.
Other than that, Reader's Digest is trying to tempt me with offers of free cars and the chance to win a gazillion bucks in their sweepstakes thingie...it's just bait, they have no intention of making me flush!
They just want to trick me into buying their crap books.They make it seem like by refusing their 'Very Special Offer' of buying a 'Very Crap Book', you'll be taken out of the running for their 'Very Special Lottery'.
But be not fooled, weary pilgrim, for they do have a 'No, I don't want your crap book, but I still want all that cash and the free car' envelope...only you have to pay the postage on that one yourself.
Now I don't particularly need a book titled '50 Secrets To Make Your Garden Bloom'(and stink like a stampede of horses just went in your gardenias.)But a book called 'How To Grow High Grade Pot In Your Kitty litter Box'-that, I could use.
Also, would someone please tell them I'm not really interested in learing how to rewire my entire house using dental floss and a dry cell or who the real inventor of the shoe horn was, so could they please stop using what remains of the earth's natural forest cover to make annoying little sticker thingies that you have to stick in the appropriate and equally annoying little spots on their annoying little sweepstakes entry booklets, while rejecting the annoying crap book offer they insist on dangling in front of your nose every time!!
Now don't get me wrong..send me the offer to join the sweepstakes, cause I'd kill for that free Hyundai but don't strip an entire forest of sycamores or whatever to do it!!
Anyway...iiit's Friiiiday!!! And Halleluia, I have managed after many a moon to finish up the work week on a friday. Yay! long weekend!! I know I'll regret it cause I'll have to find twice as many things to do to fill it up and give it some semblance of debauchery! Will probably just end up comatose on the couch trying to exorcise this kink that's gathering like a voodoo cloud in my spine, just beneath my shoulder blades.
Other than that, Reader's Digest is trying to tempt me with offers of free cars and the chance to win a gazillion bucks in their sweepstakes thingie...it's just bait, they have no intention of making me flush!
They just want to trick me into buying their crap books.They make it seem like by refusing their 'Very Special Offer' of buying a 'Very Crap Book', you'll be taken out of the running for their 'Very Special Lottery'.
But be not fooled, weary pilgrim, for they do have a 'No, I don't want your crap book, but I still want all that cash and the free car' envelope...only you have to pay the postage on that one yourself.
Now I don't particularly need a book titled '50 Secrets To Make Your Garden Bloom'(and stink like a stampede of horses just went in your gardenias.)But a book called 'How To Grow High Grade Pot In Your Kitty litter Box'-that, I could use.
Also, would someone please tell them I'm not really interested in learing how to rewire my entire house using dental floss and a dry cell or who the real inventor of the shoe horn was, so could they please stop using what remains of the earth's natural forest cover to make annoying little sticker thingies that you have to stick in the appropriate and equally annoying little spots on their annoying little sweepstakes entry booklets, while rejecting the annoying crap book offer they insist on dangling in front of your nose every time!!
Now don't get me wrong..send me the offer to join the sweepstakes, cause I'd kill for that free Hyundai but don't strip an entire forest of sycamores or whatever to do it!!
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
I is for Idiot
Words fail me.
No really, they fail me. My brain fails me. I am devoid of coherent thought. As I sit here, I turn progressively into an idiot...with not even enough savant to back that up.
I think I probably peaked at the age of 9. At 10, I must have been a fucking genius brimming over; All pop-corn pop pop popping with thoughts and plans and ideas and notions. Bigger and better and more aerodynamic and packed to the sundecks with the protein enriched goodness of freshly squeezed possibility.
But i guess it's been downhill ever since. The vaunted balloon of my virtuosity hit a low pressure zone just short of the finish line and snagged itself on the jagged edge of mediocrity.
And now my intelligence works in fits and spurts, like a broken juicer or something...the blade keeps turning but the trough's jammed.
All I know is the shine's definitely off the old noggin. I'm not as razor sharp and puking possibility as i once was.
Who knows, at this rate I should be drooling into a sippy cup in about 7.5 years, give or take a few.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
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