I'm sitting here
hating the sound of my phone when it rings
and still
I'm pushing against the silence
that's thickening and crusting over in this room,
smothering the furniture and the books and the TV flickering wordlessly.
I'm cultivating inertia. I'm courting apathy.
I dont know what I'm doing.
Ignoring the things that need done, doing things that have no meaning.
Boredom. Lethargy. Exhaustion.
What is this?
It would be so simple - to walk out into the world.
To engage.
But right now it seems to require a monumental act of will.
And right now I'm cultivating inertia. I'm courting apathy.
I'm letting the lonliness achieve critical mass.
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