Instruction Manual Humour

IMHO (I have learned that that's geekspeek for 'According to the only opinion that truly matters, i.e. - MINE'), a genre of literature that hasn't yet been given it's due is User Instruction Manuals for cheap electronic goods made in places like Taiwan or Malaysia or Timbuktoo.

When you think about it there's many reasons to reccomend them:

* They're generally always good for a laugh.
* They're informative enough to be almost useful.
* Sometimes they're even weirdly profound. (Most sound like they were written by Yoda.)
* Best of all...they're free!(well, you've already shelled out cash worth three times your entire paycheck for the widescreen t.v./dishwasher/ ice-cream maker/completely-useless-and-doomed-to-spend-the-rest-of-it's-life-as-a-receptacle-for-dirty-laundry-but-you-just-had-to-have-it-at-the-store-thingamajig that they came with!!)

So here's a little sampler. Enjoy.

INSTRUCTIONS: For results that can be the finest, it is our advising
that: NEVER to hold these buttons two times!! Except the battery.
Next taking the (something) earth section may cause a large
occurrence! However. If this is not a trouble, such rotation is a
very maintainence action, as a kindly (something) virepoint from
Drawing B.